nothing pisses me off more than the fact that 90% of women’s jeans have non-functioning pockets but baby clothes have proper pockets? what are babies carrying around that i’m not? baby wallets? fuck off
(Source: meladoodle, via colleenjk)
"Who made the potato salad?"
any family member with common sense who doesn’t trust just anyone’s culinary abilities. heard frequently at family gatherings, particularly cookouts. (via blackproverbs)
when i was around 5 i asked my mom why “some people were different colors” and she said “because god wanted lots of flavors” and let me tell you that was the wrong thing to say because for the next 3 years i thought god ate people when they died
(Source: fujiwaranomokou, via thatsmoderatelyraven)
i just went down the elevator to go to the kitchen to get some more bread sticks and somebody in my family had eaten half of one, then put it back in the box. so mad right now.
ryan did you make this post just to name drop an elevator